1/11/99 Nitro Report

Gene Okerlund Interview: Ric Flair

The Nature Boy started Nitro with a series of important announcements. He spoke of his match at Souled Out against Curt Hennig and Barry Windham, with his son David Flair as his partner. He told fans that Hogan still had a contract, and would defend the belt next pay-per-view. J.J. Dillon was rehired, and a ladder match was signed between Goldberg and Scott Hall (Hall is the master of that match). Flair also called out the LWO and implored them to rejoin WCW with more right; The Mexican Superstars complied. Finally, since they were a match short, the 13-time Champ added one more match to the loaded Nitro roster: Curt Hennig vs. Ric Flair.

Gene Okerlund Interview: Saturn

Because Chris Jericho and referee Scott Dickinson's are just too sweet, Saturn demanded that he get a rematch with the Lion Heart, (my personal rolemodel and paragon of virtue) even though Jericho had already beaten him twice, and his hand had been raised by a WCW official. Jericho and Ralphus arrived, and said he would only sign to the match, if Saturn would agree to a stipulation where, if he'd lost, he'd have to wear a dress for the rest of his career. An enraged Saturn was eventually taunted into the bout.

Ernest Miller with Sonny Onoo d. Saturn

Pre-match, referee Scott Dickinson replaced Randy Anderson. Saturn squashed The Cat, but Dickinson started to argue with Onoo, and failed to make the count. Jericho ran down, hit Saturn with a shovel, and Dickinson rightfully gave Miller the win. I mean who wants to see Saturn win a match. Post-match, Jericho tried to put a dress on Saturn.

In a prerecorded segment, fans watched Eric Bischoff arrive that the WCW office, find his parking place had been taken, and his entry card invalid. After making the former WCW/NWO President wait for hours, Flair agreed to meet with him. Flair listened to Bischoff moan about his success, but chastised Bischoff for putting his feet on Flair's desk. The Nature Boy then yelled at Bischoff concerning the new NWO, and promised to make is life miserable. Oh man will i be happy when Flair's 90 days are over and Biscoff comes back into power. He will show that flabby skinned old Hogan wanna be who the boss is.

Gene Okerlund Interview: Chavo Guerrero, Jr.

Chavo tried to celebrate Pepe's birthday, mid-ring, with a cake but was interrupted by Norman Smiley. Smiley asked why he wasn't invited, and eventually took Pepe and put him in a shredder outside the arena. Chavo was shocked, and continued to scream. Oh man that was funny.

In another prerecorded statement, fans watched Raven spending time with his brother Jim. Jim suggested that his sibling dump Kanyon. The two then went to the garage, where they looked at old pictures of Raven. I used to like Raven alot, but now I see he liked Roddy Piper. Man he had better be over that stage.

NWO Interview

The new NWO arrived in limousines, with Hell's Angels escorting them to the arena. Hogan said he could beat anyone in WCW and still wanted to be President; BigSexy promised to prove he was WCW's only big man by beating Giant, and Big Poppa Pump told fans he would wrestle Page later in the show. Is it just me or does the nWo get sweeter every week? I mean who would have thought that in the same arena that Big Poppa Pump called every one rednecks and hoosiers, that he could still get a lady to feel his pecks and stuff. This guy is incredible.

Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. Kaz Hayashi
Strangely, Mysterio wore his LWO shirt to the ring. Mid-match, Lex Luger came down, destroyed Hayashi, and demanded Mysterio take off the LWO shirt. Mysterio refused, and was racked. Konnan came down, and questioned Luger. The Total Package explained that Mysterio wasn't NWO, and neither was Konnan. The NWO troops arrived seconds later, and spray-painted and tasered the Mexican Superfag. I am gald some one finaly showed that pudgy bastard what they do to people who don't have green cards in America.

Gene Okerlund Interview: Giant

Giant said he was tired of Hogan, and would devastate Nash later in the night. Blah Blah Blah. Is he in WWF yet. I am quickly tiring of this big oaf.

Booker T. d. Lenny Lane

Booker's back, baby, and looks unstoppable. Outclassing Lane, a promising youngster, The Harlem Heater won with a Spin kick. That's what WCW said. I say HA! He beat Lenny Lane, keep working Mr T. You have a long way to go.

Scott Steiner with Buff Bagwell d. Diamond Dallas Page
Television Title Match
Oh man Big Poppa Pump just took page and squished the greasy little punk. Even Page's greasy punk hair wasn't any match to the awesome power of the Steiner Recliner. I mean how can anyone possibly think that Page would have won. Look at him, then look at Steiner. And everyone knows Steiner got it on with Kimberly before the match started.

Mike Tenay Interview: Goldberg
Backstage, Goldberg made an ass out of himself as usual. Except this time it was less beating of his monkey shaped head and more talking. When I see him beating his head every week I wonder if he can get any dumber. Then I saw his interveiw and knew that he could. Man what an idiot.

In a prerecorded segment, Bischoff helped build the ring, but kept arguing with the crew. Everyone knows that every one of those guys are going to be fired. Hahahhahah!

Scott Hall d. Bam Bam Bigelow
Pre-match, Hall taunted Goldberg. Bigelow really worked The Outsider, but Hall was given a mysterious assist from Disco Inferno. The former TV Champ handed Hall a taser and, when The Beast attempted Greetings from Asbury Park, Bigelow felt the charge. Hall merely covered Bigelow for the pin.

In more prerecorded comments, Goldberg said he expected deception from The Outsiders, but not Luger. We warned Luger about throwing away his fans and career. Yeah well thanks for that load of shit you big dumb idiot. Luger knows what he is doing, and he finaly made a good descision for once. Now we will start to see what Luger can really do.

Ric Flair d. Curt Hennig
During the match, both Flair's son David and Barry Windham came to the ring. Flair escaped a figure-four leglock, and became enraged when Windham struck his son. Hennig soon felt The Nature Boy's leg-breaking finisher. Windham interfered, and the Flairs cleared the ring. Man I don't know how WCW can expect this puny little twig to survive in the ring. It was damn funny when Windham hit the little jackass though. I was laughing my ass off.

In more prerecorded comments, Goldberg discussed his ladder match in WCW, his first stipulation match. I really think WCW wants the WWF to beat them in ratings. Who wants to hear that idiot talk. I know I was watching the Rock check Mankind into the smack down hotel when Goldberg tried to talk.

Kevin Nash with Scott Hall d. Giant
Hall, once again, made all the difference. Since he'd help construct the ring, Bischoff slyly left his wrench out, allowing The Lone Wolf to clock Giant and give Nash the win. Post-match, The Outsiders celebrated at the announcer's booth and in the ring, and gave the Giant the classic NWO treatment. Oh yes the nWo knows how to please the crowd. I heard a round of hearty boo's and it just made me the happiest man in the world. Good ole nWo. If Hogan ran I would definately vote for him, and who ever doesn't is a damn idiot.

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