1/18/99 Nitro Report

In the opening moments, stills were shown of Souled Out, where Hollywood Hogan and the nWo beat the hell out of that little twig boy David Flair. Oh man I couldn't stop laughing when I saw all the red marks on his back. Oh man the nWo knows how to make some one happy. The flabby skin old fart came out and made an ass out of himself like he does every week. He tried to claim that he could beat THE ICON Hollywood Hogan and that he would win the belt at Superbrawl. Then he called out Biscoff who made Flair look even dumber than he already is.

The Nature Boy claimed that, if he lost, he would shave his head and give Bischoff back the company.

Before Bischoff could accept, David Flair came out from the dressing room (where he was obviously getting some from AA, shoved the REAL nWo/WCW President and joined his flabby old fart father in the ring. David demanded he get the chance against Bischoff, even thoug we all know Biscoff could kick the little fuckers ass any day. Biscoff accepted the match, with the understanding that Ric would retire and get a haircut, when he beat the arrogant little shit. The Nature Boy said he would sign the match, if Bischoff's hair was also on the line. The he went off on this big thing how he wanted Biscoff's ass and that he would do some "bad" things to it. Man with possibly the three biggest fags in wrestling trying to grab his ass, I'll bet Biscoff had to be nervous. I mean would you like to be in the came room with AA, Ric, and David. Oh man I wouldn't.

Stills were shown of the Goldberg-Scott Hall match (which Scott Hall carried and still got jobbed even though Goldterd has no experiance in any sort of special match and Hall has beaten the likes of Shawn Michaels and the Honky Tonk Man.

Mr. T d. Chris Jericho

This match-up was made during Souled Out, at the WCW.com commentating booth. It really pissed me off that 1: Jericho had to job to Mr. T whose most recent win was against none other than Larry Lane. Any way Jericho jobbed, but it was a pretty good match because of the cut scenes to Ralphus, who is quite possibly the only person I know who is more funny than Jericho.
Gene Okerlund Interview: Joe Joe Dillon

The recently-reinstated fat man suspended referee Scott Dickinson for no good reason. I mean who wants to see a cross dresser win. Fat Man Dillon also said he'd arrange a 3-way dance between Goldberg, Bam Bam Bigelow and Scott Hall. Oh great, what a main event. I get to see Goldterd jump around like an idiot and Heenen go OH YEAH HE'S THE MAN. OH MAN HE IS A REAL MAN. I AM SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM!!!.

Gene Okerlund Interview: Rey Mysterio, Jr.

When asked why he kept wearing the LWO shirt, Mysterio said that they were his colors even though he was forced to wear them and was stomping on the shirt not two weeks ago. The he went on a big speech about how his gay mask meant the world to him. Then the little squirt actually challenged Luger even though he is the size of Luger's shin.

David Flair d. Eric Bischoff

This had to be quite possibly the biggest dissapointment of the night. That fat ass up in the announcer's booth thought he could be a smart ass and he was mocking Biscoff the whole night. Well who paided for his tubby ass to go to fat camp about 3 months ago. I mean it isn't Biscoff's fault that Skiavone can't keep himself away from the desert table. Well anyway the damn ref gave the little shit a roll of quarters and the fucker hit Biscoff with it. Oh man that guy is going to get fired.

Backstage, Chris Jericho yelled at Joe Joe Dillon for not making Perry Saturn wear a dress, even though he lost their match last night. Even though we all know that Saturn was already wearing women's underwear, and was so happy when Joe Joe made him wear the dress.

Konnan Interview

Konnan told fans that Lex Luger and Kevin Nash were always in "cahoots" with Hogan, and that they'd betrayed him -- Yeah so? Point being. He is just a stupid, pudgy, greasy, spic who can't rap and thinks that he is black. Of course Nash is going to double cross him. I mean how long could you stand his stench stinking up the locker room. God he sweats when he talks he is so out of shape.

Meng and Barbarian with Jimmy Hart d. Mike Enos and Bobby Duncum, Jr.

Tag Team Tournament Match

On several occasion, this crazy, violent 4 man melee almost broke into a match... but it never got a chance. During the bout, the nWo limousine came back, found out about Bischoff and marched towards the ring. The nWo forces destroyed the tag team competitors, and Hogan accepted Flair's Heavyweight Championship challenge for SuperBrawl. He showed the crowd what Flair wishes he could be, popular.

Disco Inferno w/Scott Hall d. Wrath
Can you believe it? Well, Wrath spent most of the match pummeling Disco, but things began to change when Scott Hall -- and his stun stick -- sauntered ringside. Wrath delivered a Death Penalty, and was setting up for the Meltdown when the Lone Wolf climbed into the ring. Wrath clocked Hall, but the distraction left him open for The Chartbuster and the pin. Ha! I always knew Disco had it in him. Well that will show Wrath to mess with a man who can wiggle his butt whil on the top rope.

Scott Steiner interrupted the Nitro Girls and made some funny suggestions. They all wanted him, but they knew that they were on camera so they had to pretend they didn't. No matter, he got some after he kicked the drag faggit's ass.

Scott Steiner with Buff Bagwell d. Perry Saturn.

World TV Title

After the break, Scott Steiner -- along with Buff Bagwell -- returned to the ring and taunted Saturn for having to wear a dress. Oh man this was another hilarious part of nitro. Big Poppa Pump just knows what buttons to push and when to do it. Saturn tried but he ended up like all the rest that try to fight Big Poppa Pump. Knocked out from the awesome force of the Steiner Recliner.

Interview: Kevin Nash, Lex Luger and Elizabeth

Nash mocked K-fag for being out-of-shape and having little heart. Luger then thanked Elizabeth for her assistance at Souled Out, and told Rey Mysterio that -- if Rey ever dared wrestle him -- he would be unmasked by the Wolfpac. Hey Luger wasn't perfect but he is coming along as a bad guy. Good for him.

Backstage, security removed Scott Steiner from the Nitro Girl dressing room. But Steiner already got some pussy from Kimberly. I could see it in her eyes.

Psychosis d. Juventud Guerrera

If these two were fatigued after last night's Cruiserweight war, they certainly didn"t show it. Putting on a clinic in Luchador danger, both men defied gravity and good sense, but it was Juventud who made the critical mistake. Attempting a superplex, Psychosis countered with an off-the-top gourdbuster. Afterwards, The Masked Superspic hit a Guillotine Leg Drop and took the match.

Lex Luger d. Rey Mysterio, Jr.

Well that's what happens when you try to fight some one twice your size. Luger killed little Rey and then was about to unmask him along with Nash, when they were overwhelmed by the smell of a spic wanna be black came down with a padded chair. Uh K-Fag, nest time you want to chase some one out of a ring, try taking the steel chair unstead of the one with padding on it.

Goldberg vs. Scott Hall with Disco Inferno vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Well just what I said before. This match wasn't even worth watching. Goldberg got beat up by the nWo untill a group of fags assaulted them in the ring. Hogan ran out making sure to cover his ass so that he wouldn't be raped. Man this Flair is nuts.

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