Nitro Report

2/1/99 Nitro Report

Showed Henning and Whindam Arriving to the arena. They were talking about teaming up for the Tag Team Tournament.

Showed The Nitro Girls practicing. Steiner came in and talked with his mistress Kimberly. He grabbed Kimberly and she fell back and hit her head and was unconscious. Good acting by the both of them to trick DDgreasy and free up some make out time.

Konnan & Rey Mysterio Jr., out for an interview. Rey said if he has to beat Lex Lugar for respect he will. Konnan said he was going to make Hall & Nash pay for what they did. They said they fight them in any type of match at Superbrawl. How dumb are these spics? I mean Mysterio is the size of my pinky and he thinks he will beat Luger. And Konnan just wants to be black. Well I have bad nes for them, neither will happen.

Showed the NWO B team complaining about their treatment. Stevie Ray said there was a limo outside for only 4 people. Vincent was told to take a hike and walk it. He called Nash on the phone. Nash showed up with the Wolfpack in the limo. Vincent got in. Hahahha B-Team Vince got a ride anyway.

Nitro Girls danced with out Kimberly because she was in the nWo locker room getting it on with Steiner.

Showed Flair giving Bischoff his new job. He put him in a dunk tank outside. Every employee he stepped on was going to throw a ball to dunk him. It was 27 degrees outside. You see one thing Flair wasn't planning for, none of those out of shape non nWo slobs could throw the ball well enough and Biscoff really only got dunked 3 times.

Barry Whindam & Curt Henning Vs Chris Benoit & Dean Malenko

Benoit & Malenko had control of the match. A hard hitting match. Benoit & Malenko work well together. YEAH RIGHT!!! If you call blowing your nose on some one a good move and having control of the match, then you are just a stupid ass Horsemen fan, and probably a male rapist. Whindam and Benoit overpowered them. Good match. Match went outside the ring for a moment. Henning got Benoit in the Henning Plex and got the pin. Winners: Henning & Whindam ahhahah

Showed the nWo coming in to arena.

Showed the nWo B team going in the lockeroom. There were girls waiting for them. Hey who ever said the nWo didn't know how to treat their members? How do you think they get everyone they want to join them? Good old nWo bought some good quality ho's.

Interviewed Ric Flair. Mean Whew by god I want your ass Gene. Blah Blah Blah. Hall comes out and says that Benoit is too much of a jobber to be the contendor, which is true, and he tells the old fart that it is in his best health to make a match between him and Benoit for #1 contendorship. Of course Flair caved in, I mean in his advanced age he is in no shape to wrestle.

Kenny Kaos Vs Van Hammer
Really short and pointless match. And if they were just going to have Sandman come out and ruin it, they could have made it a match between two huge name guys and they could do some moves then Sandman comes down. It would have been alot more exciting. Oh well I like Kaos he is built like steiner and should turn nWo. Sandman came out. Beat Van Hammer with the Singapore cane. Sandman said he was tired of people taking credit for his work. He said he was the first to use barbwire. He challenged Bigelow to a match. Bigelow came out.

Sandman Vs Bam Bam Bigelow

Sandman continualy beat Bigelow with the cane. Match went outside the ring. Bigelow took control. Bigelow and the Sandman used chairs. Bigelow got the Asbury Park on Sandman on a chair even though his head didn't even come close to hitting Bam Bam's leg let alone the chair. How lazy is this fat tubby ass? oh well, Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow

Showed Bischoff in the tank. No one could hit him! AHAHHAH you all suck!!!

Showed Kidman telling DDgreasy what happened to Kimberley. DDgreasy went into the nWo locker room looking for Seiner. DDP said they better hope Kimberly is alright and that he hadn't washed his hair for a week. DDP left with a trail of dandruff behind him It looked like it was snowing. Steiner came out and told everybody she sliped and was holding Kimberly's cloths. She then reached out from the door and took them from him. He got a round of cheers from the nWo. Nash then told Vincent to tell DDP that they accept a match then slap him. OH MAN I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF WHEN NASH TOLD HIM THAT. I ALWAYS SUSPECTED THEY TREATED VINCE LIKE THAT, BUT THAT PROVED IT. THEY CARE NOTHING ABOUT HIM. AHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Vincent then told Disco to do it and said when he slaps him they would come out to help. Disco went out to the ring and told DDP and hit him. Nobody came out. DDP gave him the Diamond cutter and left. WOW!!! Vince actually outsmarted some one. HAHA! After seeing that segment I don't know how anyone can't like the nWo.

Lash Leroux Vs Kidman

Good match. A lot of quick and high flying moves. Match went outside the ring for a few. Lash had some good moves. BUT HE IS A FLAMING JOBBER!!! Kidman gave Lash the Fallen Star whatever and a pin. Winner: Kidman

Showed Heenin thowing balls to dunk Bischoff.

Showed Hogan talking to one of the Hell's Angels in a limo, which turned out to be Chuck Zito who you may not think s tough, but once he got into an arguement with Jean Claude Van Dam and he downed him with one punch. He also got into a bar brawl in which Jerome Bettis was involved. He beat the hell out of Bettis who had to miss that sunday's game cause he was beaten so badly. This guy is no push over. And they were talking about beating Flair's kid. OH GOODY!!!

Interviewed Booker T. He said he wants the shot at a title. He said he was fighting Disco at Superbrawl. LALLALALALLA WHO CARES!?!

Scott Steiner w/ Bagwell Vs Chris Jericho w/ Ralphus

Scott basically said he was banging Kimberly. Well good job Scotty you blew the secret. Oh well what is DDgreasy going to do. Do the Crisco Cutter on him? OHHH big deal. Jericho sent Ralphus back. Good match. Although I was disapointed to see that Jericho had to fight Steiner. I like them both, but if I was routing for one of them, it was Big Poppa Pump. Steiner obviously overpowered Jericho. Steiner had control early on. Match went outside the ring for a while. Buff was joking around about Jericho. Even though I like Jericho, I have to admit that Buff was being pretty damn funny, but then again he always is. Jericho walked out to leave the ring. Saturn came down and hit him and threw him in the ring. He said his gay quote that he has overused already and I am really wanting to someone to beat his damn drag quenn ass. Saturn used to wrestle in a gay men's naked wrestling league and I am not kidding. I will try to find out what the name of it was and you can look on the list and it says his name, Perry Saturn. Steiner locked on the Steiner Recliner and got a tap out. Winner: Scott Steiner

Nash & Lugar w/ Elizabeth came out. Talked about the challange Konnan made. They said they would put up Elizabeth's Hair. Liz wasn't to kean on the idea at first. But why worry Liz? I mean come on it is Rey junior mint and Mr I wanna be a black home boy they are fighting.

The Cat w/ Sonny Ono Vs Scott Norton

Cat called anybody to fight. The nWo told Norton, who was returning from the bath room that the Cat called him out. That was real funny, they were like hey Scott, the Cat has benn making fun of you out there. He called you out. Norton came out. Norton just beat down the Cat. Cat started on Norton's Knees. Norton powerbombed The Cat. Winner: Scott Norton in a good match I thought.

Interviewed Goldberg. Talked about Bam Bam Bigelow. He said he had no fear of Bigelow. Can he be any more stupid? I mean I laugh at him everytime he talks. And with that big dot on his head? I wouldn't ever show my face again if I were him.

Scott Hall w/ Disco Inferno Vs Chris Benoit

Winner take on Bret Hart at Superbrawl

Hall did his famous tooth pick throw and Benoit tryed to be funny and do his gay snot rocket. I mean compare the two trademarks, a tooth pick throw, to a snot rocket? I mean god Benoit think up something not quite that stupid and nasty. Hall destroyed the short armed Benoit and got the Hall's edge on him. Winner: Scott Hall And if no one beleived me before about the horsemen being gay rapists, they dragged Disco into a room where AA was waiting with a BONER. They closed the door and all you could hear was Disco screaming. OH poor Disco!! He should be injured for a while.

Showed Hogan and Zido in the limo talking about beating up Flair's Kid. Flair was watching on a camera.

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